A few questions whose answers I'd one day like to know...

Why is that after a couple has had sex in a Hollywood flick, the bedsheet goes all the way down to the waist for the guy but only till the armpits for the woman?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel around his waist after he steps out of a shower even though he doesn't wear any pants in the first place?

Why is it that a "new and improved" version of your laptop is released immediately after you've bought it?

Why does Pecos play shit music only when YOU go there?

Why is there never a loo around when you actually need one?

Why do people log on to GTalk and then say that they dont want to chat?

If everyone hates Himesh Reshammiya's music as they claim to do, then who actually buys his CD's?

And finally, why am I balding at an extremely alarming rate?

Sanjit Rajayer

The Man...The Myth...Thats Sanjit Rajayer for you.

(Correction)

Due to constant threats from the person in question, I hereby take back what I wrote about Ms. Vakil in this blog. She is in fact a very charming and genial young lady.

There, I said it. Now can you please drop this? :P

Celebrities I Particularly Dislike...

*Paris Hilton*

Dumb...Jail Bird...Flashes her beaver on a regular basis...Started the annoying trend of carrying miniature dogs on the armpit...Released a God-Awful album...Was denied her share of the Hilton fortune...Don't even get me started on the sex-tape. This woman has completely revolutionized the art of making a complete ass of oneself. The miniscule difference in the mental capacity between her and a fully grown African baboon will have Darwin rolling in his grave. "Thats Hot!!", yeah, you can say that again.

*Rick Salomon*

He's laid Shannon Doherty, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson. My question is this, WHO THE FUCK IS HE?!?!? And why is it that these female celebrities have a mad urge to have sex with him? Either he's very well endowed, or the women in question here are morons. I personally think its the latter.

*Michael Bolton*

Stupid crooning man-diva. Makes me want to rip my ears out just so that I won't have to listen to his whiny voice.

*Celine Dion*

Celine Dion is actually a horse disguised as a human being. Next time you see her, just look at that thing she calls a "nose". The only living thing with a nose that big has to be a horse. And it looks like she married her father. Ewww...

*Tom Cruise*

Sofa hopping, Scientology peddling, Umbilical Cord eating Midget.

*Jean Claude Van Damme*

Here's a short summary of every movie this idiot has starred in. "He's a karate master/cyborg/spy/cop/masseuse who, with the help of an amusing side-kick, has to save the world and defeat an evil super cyborg/drug lord/dominatrix while he's at it. Note: The only way to save the earth is through a long complex kung-fu sequence with the bad guy". And he can't act.

*Amitabh Bachchan*

Apparently he's signed a contract which states that he has to make an appearance in every single Bollywood movie ever released or is scheduled for release this decade. Somebody buy this man a dictionary and point out the word OVERKILL to him.

Singapore's very own superhero

I'd kill to have a name like this...seriously.

Gokarna Pt. 2

It was friggin hot. There are hot days, and then there are days when you can FEEL your brain slowly melting away into a thick puddle at the base of your skull. This was the former. Jeez, it wasn't THAT hot anyway.

Got high as a kite at night though. Talking shit over dinner was one of the most fun things in the entire trip. Excerpt from an actual conversation that night:

Saurav: Sam, do you know what deja vu is?
Sam (stoned): Huh?...Wha?....No, tell me.
Saurav: It's a feeling that something from the past is happening again.
Sam: Oh...Acha.
(After 30 seconds)
Saurav: Sam, do you know what deja vu is?
Sam (still stoned): No dude...what is it?
Saurav: It's a feeling that something from the past is happening again.
Sam: Woah...dude, that happened to me just now.
(After another 30 seconds)
Saurav: Sam, do you know what deja vu is?
Sam: No idea...
Saurav: It's a feeling that something from the past is happening again.
Sam: Ohhhh...ahhhhh....yeah yeah!!! I know!!! I know!!!

Well, you get the picture don't you?

The only shitty part was seeing two FAT UGLY and NAKED hippy fellas.

Gokarna Pt 1

Second time there in two years...I'm really getting used to the place. Idyllic beaches, heavenly food and reasonable lodging, all at Rs 1.5K?!? Yes Please!!

Prep

Scored some from the shady dude with the kindergarten schoolbag. Is it just me or does his entire M.O. change every single time I see him? This time he had a bunch of "associates" who helped guide the way to him for any newcomers. Was glad to see that dad had deposited some cash in the account, even though I didn't even ask.

Company

Here's a short intro on the people who came:

1. Swathy - My girl-friend :)
2. Aditya - Bangalorean, whose staple diet consists entirely of Pulpy Orange and Maggi.
3. Sam - Master Spazoid from Lucknow. Brought his laptop along so as to complete projects.
4. Shirshak - Nepalese mountain goat and "Sam harasser" extrodinaire.
5. Raessa - Scariest person in college, for me anyway.
6. Sasha - Tiny, talkative and extremely immature mouse.
7. Saurav - Bong (the people from West Bengal, not the smoking apparatus).
8. Aubrey - Khasi mama.
9. Me - Ch00t.

Never ever ever ever ever ever..............

Sorry...I slipped up. Never again will I put up a post about football. Was actually bored to tears when I read it.

Arsenal's downfall

The weeks leading up to the start of the 07-08 EPL season saw almost every football pundit repeatedly stating that Arsenal's squad was far too young and far too inexperienced to pose a threat to either Manchester United or Chelsea. The youngsters then went on to prove their detractors wrong, and how! They played a brand of beautiful intricate football which was a throwback to the Thierry Henry-Robert Pires-Patrick Viera days. The team led the table for half the season, and with United not exactly firing on all cylinders, one would have expected Arsenal to command an unassailable lead by this point of time.

But it did not happen. They started dropping points in random matches (Birmingham?) where they shouldn't have. And thus began their downward spiral which has culminated in their exit from the uEfA Champions League. Truth be told, the Premier League title is beyond their reach now anyway.

Why has this happened? There could be a slew of reasons for this: inexperience, lack of transfer signings, the Eduardo injury, etc. But the most important reason according to me is the fact that the squad essentially has no leaders. Sure, Gallas may be the captain, but surely isn't captain material. Gilberto Silva would have fitted the role of the skipper perfectly, but he unfortunately had to be benched in place of much better midfielders like Flamini. At times like these, it is the job of the captain to raise the spirits of his team-mates, but I just cannot see Gallas doing that, OR being capable of doing it. His child-like behavior in the Birmingham match is proof of this.

The Laptop Charger Graveyard

Ten days without a laptop charger. TEN!! Ever since i decide to twist and tear the thing to pieces, I've slowly come to the realization that the charger WAS in fact a highly important device. Oh well, I shall eventually buy a replacement for it...but till then, I'll keep borrowing Shirshak's. Sorry dude. Got no choice. Oh, and I managed to somehow dismantle Guhan's charger during the whole process too.

How did I do it? Well, I have this very bad habit of falling asleep while watching a movie, reading an e-comic, etc. So when I twist and turn in my sleep, the cord just keeps winding itself around my body tighter and tighter, and eventually getting dislodged from the plug point OR just getting plain ripped. The worst part about this entire situation is that it probably isn't going to be the last time this happens. Yikes...

Naga Nageshwar "Oooh, handle with care!!!" Nautanki's Birthday

Yeah, my roomie's 21 years old now. Old enough to get married. Old enough to legally drink. Old enough to purchase a fire-arm(?). Old enough to do a lot of things which we normally wouldn't be allowed to earlier. God, I really hope he manages to get drunk at least once this year, but if the past is anything to go by, then he's in for another mind-numbingly boring (read: sober) year. Thats it then, my aim this year will be to get him drunk/buzzed at least once over the course of the next 365 days. Thats right Naga, I know you're reading this...consider yourself warned. MUAHAHAHAHA (sorry dani, had to copy the evil laugh off you)!!!!

A match made in...well, not in heaven at least

Very recently, a good friend of mine asked a girl out. Now since he's a nice young man, she said yes albeit after a bit of thinking. Well, you know the routine...they go out on dates, dinner together, strolls, etc. And then after three-four days, she tells him that she's not ready to do this ("this" meaning being committed to someone). And then they break up like decent human beings and go along their way (which is more than what I can say for some duos).

Now my question is this, why did she say yes if she wasn't sure? There should be a law which would prevent things like this from happening again. Something like a penalty system. You should be forced to listen to the entire "Celine Dion: Live in Las Vegas" or "Cannibal Corpses: Carnage in Cairo" DVD on surround sound or something. That should be adequate payback for the amount of pain and anguish caused to the other party. And also, this would dissuade anyone who "isn't sure" from agreeing to engage in a long term relationship and thus freeing us, the innocent bystanders, from any unwarranted headaches.

The important thing to note here is that I'm not taking sides in this issue, all I'm doing is stating that I absolutely hate these "quickie" relationships which leave both parties worse off and that I'm trying to recommend ways to prevent things like this from happening ever again.

This is getting ridiculous

Woke up at noon today...NOON!!! I have projects to do!! Oh and by the way, why did I land up here again?!?

Power + Easy Availability of Minions = Very Very Bad

Well, this happened just a few minutes ago. Some senior was in charge of delivering a few costumes to a place in Ulsoor, and she delegated Guhan to do the job. Now, she told him that he could take anyone he wanted for this trip and both would receive attendance make-up for it. He asked me if i was willing, and since i had no classes at the time, i agreed. While picking up the costumes from her, i was unable to recall her name. Big deal right? Not to her. This is what she said, "Don't take him with you. I'm not giving him any attendance make-up." I didn't have the heart to tell her that i didn't even need it in the first place, and that i was doing it just to help out.

Point is, why is that holding even the slightest amount of power do this to certain people? I mean, is it cool to throw your weight around just because you're one notch higher than someone else on the totem pole? The thing is that i could have mouthed her off because i really had nothing to gain from doing her this service, but i didn't. Maybe next time i will...

Major waste of time

Spent all night watching random Youtube videos with Saurav. I think he felt slightly guilty that he didnt work on his projects...hehe. Speaking of which, thats what I should be doing. Thats it then, no more wasting time on facebook. I will work harder than I have been doing this past week.

God I really hope I submit the projects on time.

What's in a name?...A fucking lot!!!

For those of you who don't know, Jay-Z is also known as the "C.E.O. of Hip-Hop". That may sound pretty stupid to some, but I think thats fairly acceptable compared to the kinds of nicknames his colleagues in the Hip-Hop industry use.

Case in point, Mr. Sean John Combs. Now this man has pretty much taken it to the next level. The following are a list of his aliases, Puff Daddy, P Diddy, Diddy, Puffy, Puff and Sean John. Now this obviously confused his fan base, who were dumb enough to begin with (anyone who's a fan of a 'rapper' who just says "Yeah....yeah....uh....what" throughout an entire song is pretty much brain dead anyway), to such an extent that he's still known as P. Diddy in New Zealand and U.K., while fans in the US and Asia now call him Puffy Combs. I can picture it now, a sold out P. Diddy gig, thousands of fans cheering, he then shouts out "Say my name New York/L.A./Paris etc. !!!!!". A thousand different voices shouting out a thousand different names. Wonder how many times thats happened?

Okay, enough about him. On to some other hip-hoppers.

Every rapper who adds the word 'Lil' to his name is just plain ridiculous as far as I'm concerned. Lil Flip, Lil Wayne, Lil Boosie, Lil Mo, etc. In case you have not actually seen these men I just mentioned, let me just tell you this: There is nothing little about them. In fact, most of them are akin to gigantic ape-like creatures of some sort. I just have one thing to say to these gentlemen, "Please, please look at yourselves in the mirror. Yes, you ARE over six feet tall. Your left bicep is bigger than my freakin' head!!"

Don't even get me started on Snoop Dogg. All I want to know is whetherhim and Nate Dogg are cousins of some sort?

What is this all about?

My views on anything under the sun. Just don't come here looking for any scandalous remarks on my part. Enjoy liah!!