Friday, February 27, 2009

Its quite simple really

Maybe its just me, but is Fair and Lovely the most racist brand in the world or what? These guys actively extol the importance of being 'white' and simultaneously show that dark skinned women and men are losers who will never get laid or be successful. Their nefarious advertisement campaigns have brainwashed Indians so thoroughly that they don't even bat an eyelid when an olive skinned young lady is ruthlessly criticized on television.

But worry not, I have come up with a devastating plan to counter this evil company. Its quite simple really.

First, I'll convince Raj Thackery that Fair and Lovely is a Bihari company (maybe they are, who knows) which has forcefully taken land away from innocent Marathi villagers, and which secretly finances Bhojpuri films. So now the MNS foot soldiers should go out and destroy all property belonging to Fair and Lovely, thus ensuring that no more fairness creams are produced.

Second, find that sonofagun Muthalik and explain to him that women using such products is an affront to "Indian culture", whatever that is. This, in turn, will result in the holy warriors of the Shri Ram Sene attacking any and all vile tarnishers (read: anyone who uses said brand) of India's majestic culture.

Finally, inconclusively prove that use of said brand will lead to a fatal combination of skin cancer, explosive diarrhea, acne and small pox, causing a complete prohibition of the product the moment Shri Anbumani Ramadoss gets wind of this.

Thus, employing this trifecta of doom, a large cosmetics company can be brought to its knees.

9 Comments:

Blogger X said...

You know there's this soap on some channel called 'Babul ki bidaai' or something like that...the main premise there is that there are two sister pairs, and one out of each is dark...so its about how people treat them differently and stuff...and yeah, you guessed right, the dark ones are subjected lots of evil jibes and stuff...its too cool

February 28, 2009 at 12:04 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

Haha!
I love this!

February 28, 2009 at 7:35 PM  
Blogger SWR said...

India is a contradictory self-hating entity that lies en masse about its history, its demographics and the colour of its own skin.We gobble up things called "Fair and Lovely", say we're too "innocent" for sex education with a population of a billion and have devout vegetarians rioting and murdering people.

An ugly nation is what we are.

February 28, 2009 at 9:03 PM  
Blogger SWR said...

erm...whoosh..now that's what i call a rant.. :)

February 28, 2009 at 10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Akash,
Seriously
I will be RIGHT behind you with a machete in between my fingers and a nepali bouncer on my shoulders.

Lets bring those mofos down.

March 1, 2009 at 10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But dark people are inferior, right?

It's just like being 'born again'; whatever the fuck that means, makes you a better person. nah?

March 4, 2009 at 2:35 PM  
Blogger Agent Zero said...

Hum kaale hai to kya hua, dilwale hain?
*dk grin*

March 7, 2009 at 1:59 AM  
Blogger Ben Ning said...

could work.

something like born again? hahahah.

March 12, 2009 at 1:39 PM  
Blogger Epic_Lad said...

@Dani

Hah, I can't help but notice that you're going to be behind me. I'd prefer it if you were in front. That way I can throw you towards the violent mob in case the shit hits the fan.

March 13, 2009 at 10:55 PM  

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